Early this afternoon, I was in one of those "OK, God, let's cut to the chase" moods, so I prayed something roughly like, "I'm not leaving this spot until You've told me what's on Your mind." He sent me to John 13. Yes, the Last Supper and foot-washing chapter. Which is funny, given that I had asked Him for a lesson about prayer.
I was struck in this passage (vv. 21-29) by some things about Simon Peter and about John ("the disciple whom Jesus loved"):
When Jesus had said this, He became troubled in spirit, and testified and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, that one of you will betray Me.” The disciples began looking at one another, at a loss to know of which one He was speaking. There was reclining on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. So Simon Peter gestured to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom He is speaking.” He, leaning back thus on Jesus’ bosom, said to Him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus then answered, “That is the one for whom I shall dip the morsel and give it to him.” So when He had dipped the morsel, He took and gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. After the morsel, Satan then entered into him. Therefore Jesus said to him, “What you do, do quickly.” Now no one of those reclining at the table knew for what purpose He had said this to him. For some were supposing, because Judas had the money box, that Jesus was saying to him, “Buy the things we have need of for the feast”; or else, that he should give something to the poor.
Did you notice? Simon Peter wants to find out what Jesus means... so he asks John. Simon gestures to John, which is interesting, because it suggests that he's not sitting right near John and Jesus.
John asks the question directly ("Lord, who is it?"); Jesus answers him directly. Even so, none of the disciples, even John, really has a clue what He's talking about.
To me, this scene is a little picture of what often happens in prayer. Simon Peter circles around the question, and can't even bring himself to ask what he wants to ask. John asks it, but when he doesn't understand the answer, he doesn't pursue the question further. Then all the disciples begin "supposing" what Jesus must have said to Judas.
I learned several things about prayer from this scene:
- I often try to make my prayers too "politically correct." Lord, I don't know if this could possibly be Your will, but if it is, could You maybe consider...
- I can only learn what God wants to tell me if I stick intimately close to Him.
- If I want to know what He's thinking (for example, what He wants me to do), I need to ask Him directly.
- If He answers me directly, I still may not entirely grasp what He means, but I've still learned something. I've been shown as much as I need to know for that moment.
So how about this: "God, I surrender this problem to You. Please let me know very clearly if there's any action You need me to take. Thank You."